And in the end everything falls apart. simple as that. technically, what I hoped for was different. From the start, he didn't want me to wait. But I waited. He didn't want me to put hope. But I did. He just wanted a friend. and I was a good friend to him at the start. and slowly I thought that there could be a relationship. That's when it all fall apart. Nothing was declared. That was the mistake. But I guess I had to make it clear, because I don't want to go on mopping. and know that he actually didn't want anything.

In the end, we are still young. He did say, who knows if I may end up with you. He cares. Yes. But work is priority to him now. And so should my studies be.

Yes, I lost a person that was always beside me. I lost a person that always supported me. I lost a person that always gave me a reason to have a happy morning.

But then I shouldn't put all the responsibility on him. I shouldn't blame everything on him. I shouldn't burden him. That's life. People change. Their perspective change. We did crossed path. I just can only hope now, that we will cross path again one day.

So now since everything has been said. Everything has been cleared. There's no reason to constantly wait for him to msg. or wait for him to call. because he wont do that. I know he wouldn't do that.

Yeah, that's life. deal with it.

I guess this is when the intersection of the line takes place.

end of third semester

its almost the end of my semester break. This is my first time thinking that I was very unproductive during the holidays. This may be due to the effect if my sister and friend. Technically, both of them are alike in a sense they think too much. Apart from that, my friend is always involved in projects that will generate an income for him.

There was a pang of jealousy sometimes when he tells me his experience. Basically, I miss that passion. I know I once had that kind of passion. When I was in secondary school, I won a medal for the school before for a taekwondo competition. Now, I regret not going forward with taekwondo in my university. The excused before this were because I had no transport and no time. But as of next semester I will try my best to make it a reality to actually go to the taekwondo class.

I think that was the missing puzzle. I hope I'm right. because if not I would have to think of another solution.

And also I have to complete my exam P and few other actuarial exams before I graduate. LORD! I hope I can make it .

So, to all the people out there who are on their semester break and feeling bad because they are lazing around, my advice is, its okay if you are lazing around. You worked hard for the whole 6 months man. You won't be getting this long breaks when you are working anymore. But saying that, I think its time for me to use my semester  break by going out more after this, because being locked up at home is depressing. Hey! I had enough semester breaks before this. So, I have enough memories of me lazing off to treasure.

On a serious note, for those of you who are inspired to get a good body but could not afford the time and cash to hit the gym, I suggest a few home videos for you guys to check out.

1)Jillian Michaels 30 Days Shred
2)Jillian Michaels Get Ripped In 30
3)Jillian Michaels 6 weeks 6 packs
4)Insanity (currently doing)

Have a good month guys

Vous Trouverez

And when you are out of balance, everything seems wrong.

Hello world! I guess blogging is not the in thing anymore for people in this millennium. but I find it as a way we can express ourselves when we can not say it in simple words to other people.

I just finished my 3rd semester in the mathematics faculty. and my, oh my was it tough. although I started in advanced in learning the subject, but I could not catch up in the end. I procrastinated too much, I had a lot of commitment this year and everything seem just like an absolute mess at the end.

I had a panic attack earlier on because my result will be out this 21st of January . I started cleaning which is an obvious sign I'm panicking. After thinking it through, there is actually nothing left to do. I tried my best. Now, I can only hope and pray.

I know my mistakes. I was caught up with my professional exams, which I failed, during the beginning of the semester. I spend too much time on subjects that required only minimal concentration. I didn't do my tutorials on time. I was involved in a project.

Technically, I have to pull myself together for next semester as it will be my final before I go into the industrial training. I want to proof that I can get 3.5.

I heard myself saying that I'm scared that I would have to repeat a subject. But I'm also scared that one of my friends would excel. I feel selfish after that. So, I have to recall why I took this course again.

I took this course because it was challenging.

During my foundation years, one of my professors said this , " buat course yg awak tahu awak akan sanggup berdiri balik untuk buat, bila awak jatuh", which can be translated into, "Pick a course that you know you will be able to pick yourself up when you fail". he is known as Mr.Z.

Those words are still stuck into my head. Why? because its true. What is the point if you do something that you are not willing to do again when you fall.

So, by remembering this quote, I know what I have to do now. Not only do I have to work harder and smarter and more efficient next sem. but I also have to accept my result as it is. think practically, and try again next semester.

Not only that, I really have to find my niche and next semester too. So here's to hopes and dreams and finding yourself! cheers!